So, I've had this for a while, with nothing on here. Of course, there's no one to read it, so that's just as well, I guess. I'm going to use this space as my way of orginizing my thoughts, and posting how I really feel about things. It's going to get messy, like life is sometimes.
My first actual post on here starts now.
Tonight I was thinking about how many years of my life I've wasted waiting to get to the next big thing, so that life could "start". When I was a kid, I was waiting for high school. Then it was that when I got my license and a car, life would be good. After that? Graduating, going to Bible school, finishing the school year, getting the higher paying job, getting out on my own, and the biggest waste of my life, waiting for a girl to complete me. Life would surely begin once I find someone, I just knew it. I wasted years of my life trying to look, but not look like I was looking, and trying to not appear needy.
Thing is, while I've been waiting, I've let so much time slip by. My 20's are almost gone, and what do I have to show for it? I don't know what I want to do, or even what I really like to do, because I've never let myself just enjoy the season of life that I was in.
I've come to realize that G-d doesn't want me to live like that. He's placed so many good things in this world, and I want to experience as many of them as I can. I've started living, instead of waiting for life to begin. I'm finally to the point that I'm happy being in the season that I'm in. I love being single, and the freedom that comes with it. If and when a girl comes along to share this ride with me, I will welcome her with open arms. I'm no longer waiting for her to complete me and make life something worth living.
There are so many thoughts rattling around in my head that I can't articulate at this moment. I think that this is a good start for this blog, I'll post more as I go along, and hopefully I'll be able to track my growth as a person on here. If nothing else, it'll give me a good laugh when I look back at this and say that this is when I've decided that I'm no longer waiting for my wife, I'll catch up to her when it's time, or I'll stay single forever. Either one is currently okay with me.